before i shower

i woke to the rain. i put a record on and snuggled back into bed. 

the rain started coming down harder. i reached up from my nest of blankets to pull back the curtain.

hail was slamming into the window.

went into the kitchen. alex smelled like soap. dustin made me laugh. decided to cancel laundry day. i'm sure i have enough socks.

the sky is quiet. not even raining. i can see blue sky now. mama birds are chirping to their young.

people have stepped out of their homes. the street is soaked and peaceful.

i have some good trees on my block.

it's been a good morning.

living life the way i wanna live it.

i have been meaning to write more lately. so much is happening. 

i have been meaning to write my grandparents a letter. i usually write them once a week and i think it has been since the new year that i last wrote. i have been meaning to write sarah an email. it has been since that guy broke the front door that i wrote her. i haven't updated this for a minute... at least in a substantial way. but honestly i haven't felt motivated and i am tired. 

today for the first time in a long while i felt inspiration. 

new friends are really fun and fill me with curiosity. i value my old friends even more. through meeting someone new you reflect who you are by telling stories of your loved ones. and today i realized i have a lot of amazing friends. talented folk. compassionate folk. hopeful folk. brave folk. in turn this makes meeting the new friend even more exciting because one day you will know what a wonderful addition they are to your life. what kind of folk they are. we are all teachers we are all students.

this rain is good and needed for growth. we shouldn't forget that.

i am approaching a junction. i am predicting that in five months i will need to make a decision. 

big sigh.

i am looking forward to:

Agent Ribbons with Carrie and Jenna. Aug 23....hahaha i mean Feb.... I have no idea why I wrote Aug

Intant Messengers at Slim's March 7 

Sarah coming home ???

.... i hear eucalyptus lavender soap calling me

it's 12.32 am

i got home around 45 minutes ago from family fun time.

we celebrated mom's and zach's birthdays with pizza, beer, red velvet cake and bowling. 

my family is making some weird turns. we actually had fun... together.

lizzie dyed her hair brown. we look so much more like sisters now. people might believe us.

i was getting anxious to get back to my shrader family.

i was sad when i arrived at my dark empty house. 

then i remembered it's saturday night.

i considered meeting up with the boys.

but i'm too cold to go out.

all i want to do right now is take a long hot shower. 

tomorrow is my TEN year anniversary with Jenna. 

we are going on a date. (i'm hoping to get to second base)

besides drew ... jenna is the only person who i know the date of when we met. 

through searching my memory, checking a  calendar/weed-log/journal i am sure i could pull up dates for other people... if you really want me to. but jenna bean i met february 1, 1999.

we've seen each other through some crazy/amazing/stupid shit.

we should definitely go for another 70 years.